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Toy: The Sybian
Reviewer: Dumblonde
Categories:VibratorsFor Women
Overall rating:

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The Sybian

*TYPE: Unique saddle-type vibrator
*SIZE: approx. 13"w x 12"d x 10" h. 22lbs. *BATTERIES: n/a
*EXTRA FEATURES: dual heavy duty motors, variable speeds, optional attachments, matching padded bench, detachable cord, 5 year limited warranty
*PRICE: $1325.00 before shipping or options
*BANG FOR YOUR BUCK: 4 1/2 stars


On the Sybian Circuit
Part 3 - The Finals
see Part 1 and Part 2

I've been getting in a lot of practice this past week, really putting it through the paces. Yes, it is exhausting, but my overall attitude has improved remarkably. Funny how that works, huh? Remember what I said last week about masturbating first before using the Sybian the first few times? Well, this may be good advice for some, but I wouldn't worry too much about it. Rarely did I turn it on without achieving a Screaming Orgasm in 2 minutes or less. Can you blame me for spending a lot of time with it?

Even though I tried hard NOT to come so quickly, it's really futile to fight it, much like Endorphin's campaigns. I tried unplugging it, but found this requires superhuman strength. I swear, I could not pull the cord out of the socket! So, unless there's a power outage, or sybian blows a fuse (a standard 6.3 amp spare comes with it), I found the the only thing I could do was hang on and enjoy the ride. YeeHaw! I did find however, that I had to stop for awhile in between, to give my pussy time to calm down, as I get real sensitive there after orgasm (actually, I'm pretty dang sensitive there before orgasm, too), and it was just too tender to touch for a bit. The Sybian people told me that the record for continuous saddle time is about 4 hours. This mind and pud-numbing statistic makes me wonder if I'm doing something wrong, but frankly, I don't give a rip - do you hear me complaining? I'm real happy just hopping on and off, for a quickie. I'm sure some of you guys can relate.

It's odd, but even though the orgasms have been really intense, and leave me feeling totally drained, I manage to get all hot & sweaty (horny) again in about 20 minutes. It does seem to be habit forming, but is it a bad habit? Will I start selling off my furnishings to pay for it? No. Will I find myself on my roof and on COPS - scantily clad, paranoid and rambling incoherently? I don't think so, I'm afraid of heights. Will I start avoiding friends, rushing home just to get in a little quality time? OK, this one has me a little worried, so I promised myself I will start looking for a 12 step group for Sybian addicts, should this occur. But in the meantime, why not have one of those soon-to-be-snubbed friends over to share in my good fortune?

I had mentioned the sybian to a girlfriend of mine who I thought could appreciate it. We're also good enough friends to be pretty comfortable about such things around each other (meaning: nekkid and masturbating, not that we had done this before). Although she asked me not to go into a lot of detail, I can report that it also gets her seal of approval. I believe she's applying for a line of credit as we speak, although the Sybian people also offer a 'Lay-Away Plan'. No, I'm not gonna touch that, too easy.

You've heard a lot about my screaming orgasms, as have my neighbors, but let's talk about what it really feels like, what it is that makes the sybian stand out in the crowded field of vibrators.

Guys, we all know nothing can take your place. There's nothing that can come close to that sensation of skin on skin, lips on skin, feeling your body, your hands, probing fingers, mouths and kisses, responding, the look in your eyes. That feeling of turning you on so much that your cock gets hard when we take it in our mouths and suck on it. Or getting soooo achingly hot when you lay us down or bend us over, and that urgent thrust of your cock so deep in us that we can't get any closer. It makes me wet just thinking about it. The pounding, deep breathing, the sounds, wet slapping sounds, whispers, moaning, screaming .......damnit, what was my point here? I fear further brain damage, people, but what the heck, brains are overrated, too. I think I'll take a break to clear my head, be back soon.....

OK, I remember now, I was going to tell you exactly how the sybian feels and what makes it different. As I said, there's a gazillion vibrators out there, and I'm not even counting my toybox. Most of them work fairly well, although the battery powered ones are weaker and less ruggedly built than the plug-in kind. Maybe I should clarify that, let's call them AC powered. But even the strongest AC vibe has to be held with at least one hand, so the freedom that the sybian gives you is unique. It's heavy, too, so it's going to stay put even under the most rigorous bouncing. The shape and size of it makes it very versatile, as well. You don't have to stay in the cowgirl position (no, I only WISH it was named for me), you can lay on it (my personal favorite), sit on it, you can even get in the missionary position and put it on top of you, according to the book. This one I haven't tried yet - if I'm going to lay on my back and spread my legs, I want a little in & out, you know? The weight of your body presses your pussy right down on it, and the more you spread your legs the more you experience the full effect. The rotator, even at full speed, kind of sensually undulates in a rythymic motion. The vibrations, which are concentrated on the bottom part, are very powerful, so naturally it's fairly noisy, sounding like a small generator when turned up all the way. I doubt if you would use this setting much, but if sound is at all a factor, take this into consideration. Even though I live by myself in an average sized home, I don't like noisy vibes because they tend to be distracting. I really didn't notice the noise that much with Sybian, though I'd be much more aware of it if the worry that others would hear it were present. If you live with a roomate, there's no way you would be able to use it without giving yourself away, so sharing would go a long way in persuading them to give up that logbook they've been keeping on you. Not being able to try just the 'flat top' for comparisons, the attachments I used varied in size from 1/2" x 3 1/2" for the Pencil Dick to 1 3/4" x 5 3/4" for the largest one. That may sound small to some, but they feel much bigger inside you because of the rotating action, and for me, they were more than adequete. In fact, I prefered the smallest ones. But then, I also prefer a softer dick. Yes, you read that right, and let me repeat it: I like 'em small and soft. I am NOT hard to please, people. They are made of a silicone rubber, with a threaded rod running the length of them. The material itself is medium soft, but the necessity of the rod stiffens them considerably. While I can't say that this hindered my pleasure in any way, I can't help but wonder what a softer insert would add. There IS something about the rotation and vibration together that makes me cum real quick, though I'm sure just the vibration alone would have done it as well, just maybe not as intensely. Hard to say. But the feature I like most is the shape, size and weight of base unit. The hands-free operation and durable construction is second to none, there really is nothing else like it.

We've come to the end of the trail here, and I apologize for the long meandering trip it's been. I've hacked and chopped this installment, tried to give it some cohesiveness without leaving anything out, and frankly, I'm tired of futzin with it. But it's time to give you the final scores. Folks, it doesn't get much better than this. Then again, the price, at $1325.00 before shipping or any extra options, doesn't get much higher, which is the reason I gave it less than 5 full stars. It all comes down to: Is it worth it? This is the toughest part of this whole thing for me - on the one hand, I'd say yes, because if you had a hard time having an orgasm, this would do it for you, and how can you put a price on something like that? If you're like me and have no problem in that area, but want the ultimate sex machine and can afford it, I'd say get it. Life is short and so are orgasms. I'm as frugal as the next person, but there's some things that you just shouldn't skimp on. That said, it is a major outlay of cash, and I can't help but feel if there were some way to get the price down to where most people could afford it, there would be a lot of happy people. The ABCO Corp., for the increase in quarterly earnings from volume sales of the sybian, and their customers, for obvious reasons.

The only improvements I can think of would be to add a few softer attachment options, and try to lessen the noise level. A piston motor, for some of that in & out we talked about would be nice, but I'm not at all sure that's feasible. If it was, I think someone would have come out with one already. I'd like to thank the good people at the ABCO Corp. for giving me this opportunity, and for all the good work they do. I'm fascinated with what I've read is their latest project, and have already tried to imagine what this would look like. Perhaps when they come out, I could talk them into letting me review it as well. Guys, you're going to like this one, it includes you too, check it out:

"Six years in development, Lovemaster is the only patented method of foreplay and intercourse for "reduced effects of gravity". The two specially designed facing seats allow you to use leverage and balance to achieve selectively controlled movements. Both bodies are supported by facing seats to enhance mobility and ease gravitational problems. Complete information will be available on this site later this year!"

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